Carpenter is performing at the Emerging Comics Show happening Saturday, June 16, 7:30 p.m. at the Comedy Store’s Original Room, 8433 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood. 21+, $20 cover.
RIP Disco Queen
Carpenter is honored to perform at Selene Luna’s Dog & Pony Show happening Sunday, May 27, 8 p.m. at Akbar, 4356 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles. $5 cover.
For more information, or to RSVP, visit the Facebook invite!
“You start off reading highly spiritual, good-for-the-brain things and by the end I’m just reading about fucking and sex orgies.” - Bjork
“I’m dry. In real life I’m bone dry, and when I play I’m a mango and in sex I’m starving to be a dripping mango. ” - Tori Amos
“I’ve had people from beginning to end just shouting, ‘You fucking bitch! Go back to fucking Yeovil!’ I always wonder why they’ve paid money to do that. I just smile and sing at them and that seems to work. Dedicate a song to them, that always works. ” - PJ Harvey
I am now a contributor for gay publication Frontiers, and I am very proud of my tribute to the late, great makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin for their 30th anniversary issue. I grew up reading his books and I loved his unique approach to beauty. It was such an honor to take a look back at his legacy and artistry.
Carpenter will be performing on Tuesday, March 13th, 8 p.m. at the Palms Bar, 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood. There is a $10 cover. To RSVP, visit the Facebook invite!
SNL’s Stefon is known for his bizarre and elaborate New York nightlife descriptions, and now Splitsider has the colorful illustrated versions of the hottest clubs that have everything:
Cholos, puke people, a sheepdog that looks like Bruce Vilanch, and an entire room of puppets doing karate…It’s that thing where someone calls Miss Piggy fat and she goes, “High ya!”
Carpenter will be performing on Friday, Feb. 17th, 8 p.m. at the Parlour Stage, 334 W. Pico Blvd. in downtown L.A. $10 cover and BYOB!
To RSVP, visit the Facebook invite.
“ALL THE WORLD IS WAITING FOR YOU, AND THE POWER YOU POSSESS…”
Few actors have been able to completely embody the iconic superhero they’ve played as much as Lynda Carter. That smile. That figure. That costume! I loved that her accessories were literally powerful—the boomerang tiara, the bulletproof bracelets, and the lasso of truth.
Last year I watched all three seasons of the original Wonder Woman series circa 1978-80, and I am not at all precious about the hokey dialogue, the cheesy special effects, or the parade of episodes involving some form of mind control. I liked that Carter did much of her own fight scenes and her Diana Prince/Wonder Woman was classy, modest, and kind. One of my favorite moments involved Carter’s stuntwoman Jeannie Epper giving a man a smackdown while riding a motorcycle. Bad. Ass.
I could not fathom how a constant barrage of Superman, Spiderman, and Batman franchises have invaded big screens, but not one studio has taken a crack at Wonder Woman. NBC probably didn’t help matters with the David E. Kelley pilot, which never saw the light of day. According to Page Six, Drive filmmaker Nicolas Winding Refn is looking to helm a big-screen Wonder Woman and he is already eyeballing mixed martial arts fighter Gina Carano for the super-role. But will Warner Bros. foot the bill?
Having seen and loved Haywire, I can tell you Carano is the real deal. She’s no Amazon at 5’8” but Carano is all muscle, especially when using her thighs to choke a brother. It’s clear she might need an acting coach after Steven Soderbergh dubbed her entire Haywire performance with another actress’ voice. But either way, she can authentically kick major male ass and that is a relief after imagining all these waifish starlets pouting and posing in the costume.
Excited about the idea of herself in the patriotic bustier, Carano has already pledged to be the kind of Wonder Woman girls can believe in these days. Oh and look! There is already a Facebook page set up in case you’d like to personally accept Carano’s candidacy…
Carpenter will be performing at the Palms Bar on Thursday, Jan. 19th at 8 p.m. The address is 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood. The show is 21+ and there is a $5 cover. To RSVP, visit the Facebook invite.
Choose Wisely is Carpenter’s sixth annual mixtape, which can be downloaded for free on Sound Cloud here.
Choose Wisely features music and remixes from Björk, Little Dragon, SebastiAn, Washed Out, Vega, Gesaffelstein, Alexander Robotnick, Com Truise, Lykke Li, Romanthony, Vitalic, Skrillex, Chemical Brothers, Royksopp, and many more.
Her customized sound bites originate from Wonder Woman, Heathers, The Last Unicorn, and Paris is Burning. Some of the more familiar voices on Choose Wisely include Mae West, Marlene Dietrich, David Lynch, and Henry Miller.
Download Choose Wisely for free now!
To obtain a high quality CD version, email Carpenter through Facebook.
MADONNA VS. ANGELINA
Two Goddesses Take a New Direction
Madonna and Angelina Jolie are extremely successful, famous, and badass powerhouses in their respective fields of pop music and acting. So what happens when they both decide to direct movies? Madonna’s film obsesses over the King of England leaving the throne for a twice-divorced American flapper in 1936. Jolie’s film takes on a Romeo and Juliet-style romance during the Bosnian War in the nineties. Which film turned out better?
Plot: Madonna takes the Fried Green Tomatoes/Julie & Julia approach with her two-tiered romantic drama focusing on the affair between King Edward VIII and American divorcée Wallis Simpson as well as a contemporary romance between a married woman and a Russian security guard.
Release date: Feb. 3rd, 2012
Budget: $15 million but “the majority of the film’s budget was self-financed by Madonna, in addition to a UK tax credit.”
Madonna’s cred as the director: After the forgettable comedy Filth and Wisdom in 2008, this is her first big feature. Madonna has already admitted that making this film was the hardest thing she’s ever done. “I see myself as a storyteller. Film has always informed the other areas of my work. I don’t think that being a filmmaker is such a big leap,” she said. “I think all of my work before actually prepared me for the responsibility of filmmaking.”
Director exes: Guy Ritchie (Sherlock Holmes) and Warren Beatty (Dick Tracy) and Sean Penn (Into the Wild)
Why tell this story: “I hope they expect romance, and they’ll get it, style, and they’ll get it, and inspiration, and they’ll get it.” Madonna said she wanted to indulge in the luxury as a counterpoint to the poverty of the inner lives of the two protagonists: “To make the point that no matter how beautiful and glamorous your surroundings, there is no guarantee for happiness.”
Both Madonna and her leading lady are Leos: Abbie Cornish as the naïve trophy wife Wally…But rumors say there were clashes between them on the set. Madonna seems far more impressed with Andrea Riseborough, who plays the vivacious Wallis Simpson, calling her “a gift from the universe.” Madonna even appears on the December cover of Bazaar possessively clutching the rising British star—rather than Cornish.
Abusive love interest: Richard Coyle as Wally’s neglecting husband William
Bottom line: Madonna’s film is pretty and pretentious, giving a whole new meaning to the term “Material Girl” since so many scenes concern miserable rich white people surrounded by luxury. That’s Sofia Coppola’s territory and—no matter how many times Madonna watches Marie Antoinette—sorry, Coppola does it better. If this film wins any Oscar gold it should go to Costume Designer Arianne Phillips for selecting such gorgeous dresses.
IN THE LAND OF BLOOD AND HONEY
Plot: During the Bosnian War, Danijel, a soldier fighting for the Serbs, re-encounters Ajla, a Bosnian Muslim artist who’s now a captive in his camp he oversees. Their once promising connection has become ambiguous as their motives have changed.
Release date: Dec. 23rd
Budget: $10 million
Jolie’s cred as the director: This is the Oscar-winning actor’s directorial debut. But through her humanitarian work as a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, Jolie had some rare insight into the conflicts of the Bosnian War.
Director ex: Billy Bob Thorton (Sling Blade)
Why tell this story: “I wanted to make a film that would express in an artistic way, my frustrations with the international community’s failure to intervene in conflicts in a timely and effective manner…It was the deadliest war in Europe since WWII, but sometimes people forget the terrible violence that happened in our time, in our generation, to our generation,” explained Jolie.
Both Angelina and her leading lady are Geminis: Zana Marjanovic as the quiet portrait painter Ajla. Jolie said of Marjanovic, “She’s someone who draws you in. She has something about her that very few people possess on screen. She has a mystery and a strength that I find captivating and powerful. She’s very much a woman to me. She represents what a woman is.”
Abusive love interest: Goran Kostic as Danijel
Bottom line: What is the only thing Madonna and Jolie’s films have in common? Violence against women. Less people will see Jolie’s gritty, war-torn, subtitled film as it is clearly meant to give audiences a dose of reality—rather than escape or fantasy. Unfortunately, multiple rape scenes aren’t the best box office draws. Get ready for prison camps, bullets to the head, rocket launchers, explosions, and doomed love.
